Posts Tagged ‘my life’

Another setback.

Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013

I wasn’t going to write this, or share this part of it with all of you. Yes, you obviously have gathered by now that I was looking into having some type of gastric surgery for my weight loss. And if I didn’t tell you personally, I’m sorry. It’s a hard pill to swallow, and I have been met with mixed opinions.

I had my pre-op this week. If all went well, my surgery was scheduled for next Monday. You read that right- next Monday! It is a minimally invasive surgery, so outpatient based, and I basically just spend the night and then am discharged. Things obviously didn’t go as planned.

My insurance company is going to deny me- that’s what my doctor has explained to me. I have had every test known done, and, unfortunately, I am healthy. Yep. I don’t have high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, or even sleep apnea. Which I was sure I did, considering how tired I am during the day. Nope- turns out I just have kids.

Then there is my weight. Technically I am considered in the light-weight-obese category. Didn’t know that existed, did ya. So my BMI is 35%-39% and doesn’t hit the 40% mark. So I qualify IF I have one of the ailments above. So if I want to have surgery, I either have to gain weight or develop one of those awful obese related diseases above. And if I’m really lucky, maybe I will gain the 30 lbs I need to for surgery AND develop one of these diseases. My doctor’s office is having me meet with a dietitian once a month for the next 5 months, and they said that we can make a case to the insurance company that based on my history and the supervised diet of a doctor’s office, I would really benefit from this surgery.

It’s frustrating. I want to be able to have this done so that I can DO SOMETHING about my weight, and yet the doctor and insurance company say just stay the way you are for 6 more months. It is even more frustrating seeing people come in who don’t really take the surgery seriously, but see it as an easy way out instead of a tool, and you know won’t be successful.

My mom told me to “take this opportunity” to cut carbs and really lose weight. It was gut wrenching for her to say that. When you get to the point I have, the last thing you want is for someone to come along and undermine the seriousness of the problem.

So for now, I guess I better go looking for some plus sized outfit to wear for my Christmas photos…

A letter to my future self.

Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013

Dear Alisa,

I hope you have grown over the last few years. This is the time period where growth is so important. I hope you have become on the inside what you want to show to the world on the outside. That you have become beautiful on the outside and radiate that on the inside.

Please tell me you have been content with what God has given you. Realize your husband is absolutely fantastic, and he would do anything for you. You have two beautiful girls who adore you and I hope that you are not taking a single day for granted as long as you are with them. Enjoy their love and foster that. Don’t nag them too much or punish them for coming to confide in you. Cherish that and teach them that you will always be there for them through life’s challenges.

Are you keeping up with those family traditions? I know how much you love to foster those in your life. I hope you are following through with them and teaching your children what family is all about.

I hope you have followed some personal goals of going back to school and furthering your education. Do you still want to teach? Counsel young children? I hope you are giving everything to God and you are letting him guide you through life.

If this comes at a time when life has gotten you down, remember that God will only give you what you can handle. It may seem way out of bounds and tough to deal with, but trust me, you will get through it. You got through it with Olivia and her colic, and you got through it with Stella and her reflux.  You are a strong person and sometimes you tend to forget that.

No one can love you as I love you.

Alisa, age 35.

25 things you may not know about me

Monday, October 21st, 2013

1. I’m thirty five- yep. I have awesome youth genes.

2. I have 4 sisters and a brother- and a brother-in-law and niece.

3. I was raised as an only child by my mother, and often have only child syndrome.

4. My mother participated in various peace activist organizations, and may have been arrested once or twice in the process. Maybe even with Martin Sheen.

5. In 5th grade, we had a faux-election. I was the only one to vote for Dukakis.

6. I once was evicted from my apartment for having a cat. I still have her.

7. When I was younger, my mom ran a migrant children’s center, and then a day camp for special-needs children. I feel I gained compassion for other children during that time.

8. I took one year of Spanish and two years of French.

9. The only words I now know in Spanish are “frijoles en frente por favor” and “uno mas cervesa?” and neither of those were learned in my Spanish class.

10. I am a bartender and have been for 7 years. I have worked at this particular restaurant since 1998.

11. I once took a trip with friends to miniature golf, and was banished to the front seat because the only people in the car that were Huey Lewis fans were me and their father.

12. I am horrible at follow through.

13. I have volunteered for a medium scale music festival in California for 25 years. I can honestly say that because at 12 years old, I was in charge of my first committee: the raffle committee. I now run the entire concessions area and am on the steering committee.

14. My dad is a painter. I feel like I have inherited his painting skills.

15. I, sadly, haven’t talked to my dad in over 10 years.

16. I have extreme passion. I get that from my dad.

17. I LOVE FOOD. So the idea of changing my ways to eat as nourishment instead of delight is a hard one to swallow.

18. I am mostly of British descent, but love to claim the 1/8th Norwegian that I am. I tell people I am Norwegian.

19. I grew up in a small beach town that was mostly surfers and low-income rentals. It is now the most sought after place to live.

20.  I met my husband through a friend I worked with. He was the opposite of what I normally dated at the time.

21. I have struggled with my religious beliefs my entire life. I believe that Jesus Christ died for my sins and I will go to heaven. This is a late in life realization.

22. I have problems with judgement: I often judge way too much.

23. I have a hard time with organized religion because of the judgement of others: go figure.

24. I’m afraid of birds. All birds. Chickens, ducks, turkeys (who wouldn’t?) black birds, even baby chicks.

25. I have a problem always wanting to be something that I’m not.

What’s something I wouldn’t know about you?


Another step in the right direction…

Thursday, October 10th, 2013

“When you’re on the titanic, you load the life boats, you don’t stop to yell at the iceberg!” Debra, Everybody Loves Raymond.

So this weeks posts are soo behind. Mostly because of last week and getting caught up with chaos. Besides, anyone else feeling sick? Something going around, and it won’t quit. And am I wrong- but mammas can’t get sick! It brings the whole house down!

I feel like for the last 6 months, I have been yelling at the iceberg. Blaming babies, marriage, my family, for my weight problems. Because, let’s face it, we are a product of our environment. But I am finally doing something about it. And I have to address how it makes me feel, but also realize that just talking about it isn’t going to solve the problem. So this week, every time I am about to eat, I am stopping and writing down why I am eating. Am I hungry? Bored? Stressed? Upset?

This past weekend I worked on my latest photo album. More to come on that soon, but it was pictures from our Disneyland trip. On a normal occasion, I would make sure to avoid all pictures that include me, but one of my favorite bloggers, Ashley from Under the Sycamore, once said that you want to be in all those photos with your kids. You don’t want them to miss out having those pictures with their mom, and you want to remember those moments. So I included all of the pictures that included me. I know that I am changing and I will be able to reflect back on these pictures and say, “that was the old me.” But not without actually doing something about it. Otherwise, I’m just yelling at the iceberg.




The Last Supper

Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013

Hey guys- thought I would get this post out a little early for today… today is going to be a rough day. Originally I was going to list some great recipes and the reason behind them, but then I realized that  I am going to be HUN-GA-RY and the last thing I want to do is write about food.

The most important thing going on this week is my husband’s birthday… I want that to be the most important thing, anyways, but life seems to get in the way… I mean, poor guy has been dealing with my ups and down, my CRAY-CRAY mood swings, and my immensely intense schedule. And he handles it so well. I mean, REALLY well.

So this week, I have a series of tests and appointments that I am having done in relation to my weight and (fingers crossed here) procedure to help me lose this weight- I always want to call the weight by name because (insert gasp here) I am overweight by a small child. O-M-G. I am basically carrying a small person around me every minute of every day. Wait- so when I have Stella attached to me in the Ergo, I am technically carrying around TWO people! No wonder I’m tired!

Today’s appointment is in the afternoon and is requiring a small amount of anesthesia- I have never had this in my life! I am freaked out beyond belief! So please pray for me to be strong. Pray for my husband to have patience with the two girls while I am incapacitated. Pray for the docs to take good care of me. And most important, pray that my insurance covers the procedure 100%- sorry, just a little health care humor here since this week seems to be consumed by it.

Have a great day, and thanks for being here.

Romans 5:4 – And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

My Weight Loss Journey: The motivation behind this blog.

Wednesday, September 25th, 2013


I am overweight. I am 4 points from being obese. I am unhappy with myself on the outside. This makes me unhappy with myself on the inside. Does any of this sound familiar?

Alisa 2007

My wedding day, 2007. 

I have been a yo-yo dieter for as long as I can remember. I can remember thinking (at a size 8) in high school, I wish I could fit into a regular sized prom dress. At that time, I can even remember my health-ed teacher commenting on my diet pattern after a week of monitoring what we ate.

I dieted so much that at times, my grandmother asked if I was on drugs, just because I wasn’t overweight. Really? That’s the only reason I wouldn’t be overweight? Weight Watchers, Alli, Jenny Craig, just plain diet and exercise, pills, soup diets… wow. I’m exhausted thinking about it.

Alisa 2009

2009, 3 months after the birth of our first daughter, Olivia. 

I have decided to make a change. And every once in a while, I will post my progress on my weight loss and my journey to be a fit, healthy mamma for my 2 girls (more on my family soon, promise). I am determined to make sure that the same guilt and relationship with food doesn’t get passed onto my girls.

Alisa 2013

August, 2013, 4 months after the birth of our second daughter, Stella.

The cycle ends here: I will be intentional in what I eat.